There Once Was this Girl

She used to live in a place that was much colder, you know. It snowed a lot, but that didn't mean it didn't just melt days later. No mater; the snow wasn't nearly as bothersome as the weathermen made it out to be. It was kind of nice because it made you feel like everything was going to be okay simply because of the blinding shimmer. The girl that once was really liked it in the snow... It made the air easy to breathe. She vividly remembers Christmas lights in the snow by the capital and a coffee shop with cups that weren't washed very often, but that didn't bother her because she didn't wash herself very often either: It fit, that coffee shop and her. It must have been the paper mache tables, that out of tune piano, or maybe even the brownies that made that coffee shop the best place to gather and think. A lot of walks happened around there, and they happened in a lot of different seasons. The girl that once was never minded the 20 minute drive because sometimes driving seemed spontaneous! She often played the 'How many miles can I go on empty" game just to seek the thrill of being stranded somewhere new. Lord knows the girl who once was had enough mix CDs to last her for miles of empty, teach her new routes, and let her sort things out. It's funny, because now that girl's speakers are broken, and when it snowed she felt it was rather cold and she preferred to stay inside. She showers at least 5 times a week now, and most feel that's an improvement. Afterall, she's much fancier nowadays in the land of the famous and business-minded folk.

Sometimes, though, the girl that once was secretly steals away and becomes the girl that will always exist in the hearts of those who once knew her. She is a less bitter, anxious, jealous, more secure version of that girl, but nonetheless, she still listens to Dashboard and fibs about the amount of showers taken. She still drinks a pot of coffee a day and goes too deep too fast just to show those around her that she'll love until there's nothing left. She likes the feeling of pouring out just to know another has received...even if she's received nothing.

It's like the girl that once was has lived two distinct lifetimes which have never intersected. It's like one day she woke up and ceased existing as the girl who once was and became the girl who is. She has these dreams sometimes though; these dreams about waking up around the capital and running, and driving, and running just to find that girl and tell her that everything will be okay as long as she stays and hums a simple tune. She just needs to stay and run in place instead of running away. She wonders what would have happened had she woken up and breathed more breaths as the girl who once was. She only knows one thing: Those lifetimes can never intersect without ending up in a terrible and fiery death-blast (Too much  Si-Fi? Sorry, that's the girl who once was speaking.). The girl who once was is like a storybook now. A collection of cautionary, humorous, and romantic stories of seemingly fictional tales.


Bedtime stories are for children. The girl who once was lays her head down on the coffee shop table, hums a pretty tune, and waits to see her other self in her other life, if only in her sleep. Run straight, girl.

{Sometimes your dreams tell you marvelous tales...}

Simply.

Do you ever sit, and [simply] stare?
Thinking, Dreaming, Waiting?
Because I do.
Often, yes?
I sit and [simply] stare outside these four walls
Thinking, Dreaming, Waiting.
I wait for the simple essence made of magic
To [simply] pull the trigger so that I can see the world
Through a simple mind.

I'd rather be lost that stagnant beneath ceilings.

Alternative choices: Both made and unmade
Like a child's bed
Where I remember staring quite [simply] at the certain future
While I remained still.

I am looking...
Though I am looking to become lost
(Because found is boring)

All I hear is ringing and monotony of dinging:
Money Making.
[Simply] Money making, bill paying, anticipating...

Hammers and Strings
And things made of Ivory
Those are the simple things
That keep an artist breathing.
To live is to create:
Simple and complex things.

But time is money, and I hear the cash drawer dinging.
It's [simply] not simple
To hear melodies inside your head
When the ceiling holds your hand and tells you it's better off this way.

It's simple, really. 



~Rachel~

Happy Beginings...

I love beginning something: It's fresh, it's exciting, it's new.... there are so many possibilities at hand, so many different journeys to embark on. To start the journey of being married to the person who chose you and taught you all about a crazy little thing called love is beyond exhilarating. I always thought my wedding day would be the best day of my life (and don't get me wrong--it was everything I ever dreamed of and so much more), but I never could have fathomed the possibility that the days AFTER the wedding (the 'daily grind') could be even more glorious. Why? Because everything is so real, so tangible, so lasting, and so good.

Some people say when you fall in love, there is a spark that ignites a fire. Personally, I felt that was all a load of crap. "You choose to love," I would say, "You make a logical, cognizant decision, and then you commit. It's simple. It's choice." Fear of getting hurt makes us say really foolish things that appear so wise.  When a spark occurred, my instinct was to grab a bowl and hinder a growing flame...fortunately, the spark had a cause, and the cause had a heart, and the heart had a spirit, and that spirit had a lighter, and that lighter drew close to me, and taught me how to be ablaze.

Trust. Fall. Catch. Love. Glow.

So we let that happen....

On March 15th, 2013 at approximately 4:30 pm, I married my best friend. I married the one who taught me how to be in love. I married the person who surpassed my dreams: The person who showed me the shades of yellow I'd not even tapped into yet. Oh, what an adventure it has been. The best part? It's just the beginning.


And as long as there in breath in my lungs, I will never stop loving him. Because now? He is a part of me.

We are an 'us,' and I am a 'his' and he is a 'mine.' 

~Rachel Elizabeth Storment~

Fault.

There is.
There has been.
There will be...
Oh, there was

Faulty lines in skylines above the horizon.
And I knew it every step of the way.
Infinity is different these days
Than it use to be,
But I am convinced this is better.

There is this sapphire that speaks eternity
But this time,
Oh this time,
I can see it happening
Without the world burning
Around me.

A glance,
A smile,
A touch
Oh, there was
A      touch.
And teary eyes were clouded
By salty skin.
And even the sweetest sin
Could not ruin this moment.

There is.
There has been.
There will be
Oh, there is
This yearning in horizons less faulty
And a touch on skin less salty
And familiar, (so familiar) longings

And a saphire jewel with a longer eternity
Without worlds and stars burning.
Smoke signals!
They make the sky turn pink
And this time,
Oh this time I think..

But, I seem to think less.
Cardiac Arrest!

Life comes out of death.

There is.
There has been
There will be
Oh, there will be
New chapters and beginnings
With a heart wrapped in lilies.
(though they are not always yellow) 

~Rachel~

Sides.

I woke up on the other side of someday the other day:
It’s nice there, and the grass really is
Green…
And lilies are more potent that
I thought they would be.
Yellow..
It exists in actuality.
(And they don’t come in the shape of flowers we make.)

I woke up with a pounding headache
But that’s nothing short of shocking
Due to the obscene amount of
Coffee, car accidents
And  three years of
Something’s I’ve been suppressing.

Brown…
It’s fading into technicolor.
And bleakness disappears.
(Like wishing I’d get a phonecall after all these years)

The other side of someday smells like
Cider and Funfetti;
Everything I’ve ever loved
But you don’t taste the calories
(which is good, because I like to watch my figure lately)

The other side of someday
Has blue eyes for days
And a calendar with real dates.
The other side of someday burns
Red…
(Like the passion in my heart that’s been waiting for a lighter)

I’ve been a flame,
But now we’re a fire
                                  Burning to the scent of cinnamon and fall.
And so it’s finally okay to fall…

                                                    Thoughts, love, ambition, feeling.
                                                                                                                White?

Springtime: April or May.
The end of the other side
 Of someday.
And actually? 

                                                       I wouldn't change a step along the way.

~Rachel~

Funfetti.

It's funny how a city changes things;
Memories
I80 West.
Flashbacks
Rewind and Freeze.
The beauty of a different art museum makes a world of change. 

Checkered Blankets.
A smile, a touch, a smirk,
Knowing looks and a box of cupcakes.
Homemade.

I remember the hair tuck.
Behind the ears--
It reminds me in a good way.

A hill too steep
and
A beach I'd like to stay at.
It's windy--
Hair blown.
Footsies.
You block the wind.

Father Time is finally on my side. 

The Road to Yellow

Life is composed of various paths and journeys. These paths and journeys often lead us to places where we never thought we could go. Suddenly that which we thought we lacked courage for is the very thing that causes us to abandon ship.We hold down the fort and learn to camp in dirt while the wilderness calms itself.

As a very dear old friend pointed out today, I am much more eloquent in my writing than I am in my speech. Perhaps that is because I have the gift of the edit button and the sense to proofread while my mouth lacks the backspace and malfunctions with speed. Who knows; there is an intellect disconnect, and I choose to believe it will be an endearing quality one day.

I have been on many journeys, you see. I like to think I have relationally traveled the Americas and seen many sights. I would not change a thing, you know. Why? Because once your eyes have seen the beauty of Wisconsin contrasted with Death Valley, you are a changed person. I am educated in matters of the heart, and I have graduated Cum Laude.

I began these journeys running full speed like the athlete I am not. I think it whipped me into shape enough so I learned how to walk. After walking I decide stagnation was a good rest. So I have done the marathon, stayed still, walked, crawled, and lied on my back. I think I am ready to run again--I'll start slowly this time, though. I'm about the warm-up these days. I'm about needing to catch your breath and feeling the soft winds of new on my face. I'm into surprises, hiking, and freefalls...except I plan to take my rope for a while.

It's a terrifically terrifying thing to be free and in very little control. It's like the old times--- Except healthier. We all know I'm all about health these days.

 Especially if they make beautiful brownies with me.


~Rachel~