Friday, March 11, 2011

Life, Love, and Kombucha

Ello' Friends,

My name is Rachel Jackson, and I am in the continual process of surrendering my life to my maker Jesus Christ. That to say, the last month of my life has been insanely busy, wonderful, and inspiring. It is crazy what a few solid decisions can do. I'm learning to decide things instead of ponder them into the grave, and I am learning the Lord's will is a lot less narrow than I thought. The Lord's will is anything I do that will bring Glory to His name, He desires me to live in passion, love, and peace, and I can honestly say I am in the pursuit of doing such. What a marvelous place to be: Health. Normalcy. Peace that surpasses understanding. Choosing to live my life free and redeemed is an absolute treasure. For the first time, I feel like I'm finally grasping the phrase, Lord, I belong to You. I'm also learning Jesus sincerely wants me to have fun. He likes to laugh, He likes to dance, and He loves exactly who I am--good, bad, vegan, and cupcake frenzied. Truly He is such a wonderful creator, and my best friend.

The Lord always has my best interest in mind. He has known from the beginning exactly where He wants me, and with everything I've experienced and learned, how much more Glory can I bring Him as a child who now stands unashamed, free, and redeemed? I was leading worship last night at The Shore, and we sang one of my favorite songs, "How He Loves." Previously, my favorite lines had been, "He loves like a hurricane, I am a tree bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy." Yesterday, I found my new favorite line--because it is where I have chosen to live...
I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves me.

How amazing is the love of God that continually covers all--He doesn't remember the things we regret, so why should we? I would much rather exist in marvelous love Christ offers than to dwell in the person I no longer am.

For you visual learners, here's my past wonderful moth in picturesque form


The nicest human being on the entire planet =)

My unbelievable job (where I surrounded by people I absolutely adore.)

And on that note, my only vegan/health plug for the day is Kombucha. It's amazing, and full of probiotics and living organisms. You should try some.


Go Raw.

~Rachel~

Monday, March 7, 2011

Life from the Podium

You stand on a platform
So much larger than you
And still you search for the words to say
As stuttering becomes you

Life from the podium
Makes your words grow
Tight
In your throat as you search
Search for the time to say
What you mean
And say it hot

But everyone is always watching
As you stand on what's beneath you

It is hard to have a million gazes transfixed on your being
But say it like you mean it
And perhaps the masses will believe the words that fall like
Water
From the chords that trap the voice

Don't worry--
They watch, though they do not understand
They say what they do not know
They speak what they have not heard
They assume what their mind
Speaks.

They pretend to know the answer
From the life on the floor

But the limelight burns the eyes
And the podium weakens the knees
The timing is held by clocks
And tick tick tick

You're up next.


~Rachel~

Friday, March 4, 2011

The Art of Coconut Milk and Learning

Why Hello Faithful Blogger Friends; It's been a while.

I've had one of those life-moments where I realize the only time I sit down is when I'm driving. Luckily, I drive a fair amount. I don't know why, but I always forget how insane life gets mid-semester. Life is about to go back to normal again, and I have successfully kept my head above water. (To me, not drowning=success) I even made sure to turn in homework for WEDNESDAY on MONDAY. Beautiful, right? I was quite pleased with myself.

On to Better things:

I have one more month left of being a vegan, and I have to be honest, I'm just now starting to get into the pattern of it. I'm learning what I like, and what makes me puke (Chick'nless strips? Nasty.), and I'm learning what food has made me feel like I'm on top of the world. As I'm reaching the end of this bucket-list journey I've discovered a few things:
1. I think I'm sensitive to dairy
2. I don't do well with large amounts of soy
3. I feel so much better when I'm healthy all the time.
4. I think I'm basically just going to stay a vegan... but become less inclusive (I.e. If I go over to someone's house for dinner, I'm not going to refuse the muffin's because they have an egg in them. I think hospitality is grand.)However, when I'm doing my own shopping, I'm relatively certain I'm going to keep my vegan habits relatively the same. It is certainly my preferred lifestyle, It's kind to the environment, I'm not consuming processed and chemically enhanced foods, and it is a constant reminder to check up on my health habits.


Checking off something on the bucket list, as crazy and non-nonsensical as it was, has been a huge growth experience for me. I've already written about some of the social challenges, so I won't bore you again =). Just know I've learned quite a bit about myself through this process.

On to Better and Bigger Things:
I am in the midst of learning a huge Spiritual lesson. I am learning to stop asking God "why," and start asking God, "How can I be used in this situation to bring You the most glory possible?" God's plan is bigger and better than mine (Shocker.) God's thoughts aren't my thoughts, and His ways aren't my ways.

And that's a snapshot of my life =).


~Rachel~

Friday, February 18, 2011

Strictly Shallow and Splendid


In my other life, I feel like I might have been a model or a fashion designer. Why? Because I love fashion. Unfortunately, I'm neither 80 lbs or a brilliant sketch artist. Instead of walking the runway or designing groundbreaking fashions, I figure I'll just dress like I'm important... or blog about the things I want to own. Like this:



How beautiful is she?! I want everything in this photo; including the deer. I love the vintage vibe the dress gives off, and the headband? The headband is glorious.

Anyways, this is a rather shallow blog (Which means I'm in Romans and I'm trying to justify the odd clothes I enjoy wearing), but I wanted to give you a piece of my love for fashion and all things vintage, naturish and splendid.

Enjoy your day; Pet a deer.

~Rachel~
(If you want to read a great fashion-centered blog, go to http://www.RachelParrishthethought.blogspot.com --she's my super trendy and fashionable friend. And she loves pugs. That's all.)

Friday, February 4, 2011

Holy Exhaustion, batman.

For the past week, I've had the privilege of being involved in the William Jessup University Choir recording. Though it has been the most invigorating moments of my year (so far), it has also been one of the most exhausting. I love music. I love the feeling of putting passion into notes and experiencing joy through the reverberations of the human voice. I love choir--and yes, I love band camp. I was (and am) that kid who eats her lunch in the band room, and frequently plays the 'guess that pitch' game. I've finally reached the point where I embrace that fact.

My choir professor has grown me exponentially this week. I feel like there was a moment last night where my mind finally 'got it.' I understood the role of section lead, I understood and grasped the need to be present, I felt the emotion, and experienced the grandness of feeling like I had finally gotten 'it.' That 'it' the sopranos, tenors, altos, and basses desire. Twas' a beautiful week. I love music.

However, four hours of recording a night, coupled with school and work has taken it's tole on my REM cycle. I think I have maybe slept five hours a night, and I'll confess I am probably under-showered (I'm a musician, it's okay...I'm like Regina Spektor; grunge is in.) and I am definitely over-caffeinated. Needless to say, I have already decided to take Monday off. Perhaps this is not the academically 'wisest' decision, but I'm attempting to learn the balance of academia and personal health--spiritual, emotional, and otherwise. I have been in the place where I've wrung myself dry and operated on empty, and I've decided that's not a place I desire to live. I need to take time to recharge. If that means taking a day off school or work every once in a great while, so be it. (I want to live my life as if everything is a remarkable adventure.)

I have exciting plans for Monday that are wrapped around a person and not at all around a schedule. I couldn't be more excited. I have come leaps and bounds from February of last year, and it is by the grace and blessings of Christ that I am not only standing, but thriving. It is remarkable to me that He continues to be the restorer of the broken, the peace to the restless, and the wellspring to the dry and thirsty.

I am exhausted and sleep-deprived, but I am so excited with everything the Lord is doing in my life. From Jesus, to Bayside, to choir, to veganism, to school, and to spontaneous endeavors, I am so happy with where my life is, and where it is headed. (Holy comas, batman.)

With that said, it is time to get back to the daily grind that I love so much. I hope you all have a fantastic week. Hug a stranger, do something crazy, bake a cupcake... love the life you're in and put Christ into everything you do. Cheers.



~Rachel~

Friday, January 28, 2011

Veganism: Issues, Sick Tats, and Wonder

I have now been a vegan for 28 days. Applause is welcome and appreciated. Though I went into this process well studied and vitamin supplemented, I did not fully prepare myself for the social aspect of veganism that would inevitably accompany my nutrition changes.

In the course of 28 days I have encountered three separate types of waitresses:

1. The fellow vegetarian or vegan(extremist-view): She usually has a really beautiful fairy tattoo on her right shoulder, or a checklist tattoo on her left forearm--it is there she writes in pen (on the permanent line) to update her Peta-supported blog entitled 'Meat is for the Uneducated.' She speaks in a softer tone and smirks often when asked about the soy-content in the soup base. She enjoys long walks in nature and has either a golden retriever or a cat rescued from the streets of Sacramento. When you walk into her restaurant she can tell in a flash who follows the ways of veganism, and who is ignorant; she then bases her sarcasm content around such knowledge. However, she likes 'Boy Meets World' just like the rest of humanity, and from time to time has accidentally killed a spider.
(pity, really.)

2. The Carnivore: She wears her hair up in a ponytail and loves strawberry smuckers lipgloss. She played soccer in high school, and she has had a steady job for over a year. She's a smart lady who enjoys laughing and intellectual debate from time to time.She has perfected the art of 'the nod.' She usually raises her eyebrow when the phrase 'vegan' is uttered from someone's lips. She then asks the question, 'so, like....no meat, no dairy?' Now, here is where things get confusing. To some female carnivores, veganism is like mutiny of all things good. They usually decide they no longer want to give you the time of day, and sometimes try to give you things you can't eat. ("You said NO milk? I thought you said POUR on the milk. You should just eat it, you'll be fine"...true story.) Or there is the carnivore that is merely confused about such a nutrition endeavor, and decides to get over it. The one who hates vegans is not the nicest human.

Now, I realize this carnivore-vegan dispute is most likely related to the carnivore's natural disposition to animal rights groups that attempt to protest naked in front of KFC. The Vegan thinks the carnivore is a murderer, the carnivore thinks the vegan is mentally unstable. (Both are true in separate cases...I'm sure Charles Manson ate meat, and I'm sure some of the Peta people have some mental issues.) The carnivore's and vegan's are like the modern-day Indians and cowboys (we just don't get along.)

3. The Herbivore: She is accepting of all people, she desires to have a lengthy chat about your personal decision to avoid animals and animal bi-products. She usually wears at least one shade of yellow or green,and enjoys hiking and kashi cereal. Her favorite TV show is probably Gilmore Girls (let's be honest.)

(Clearly, I've stereotyped and generalized. Don't shoot the blogger, please.)

Now, for the other social consequences of being a vegan:

There have been people along this path that fully understand and support this crazy and nonsensical endeavor to try something exciting and new (check earlier blog posts for reasoning behind the madness. Hint: there's not a whole lot of reason.) They have come over for meals and been the Guinea Pig to my vegan cooking experiments. They have laughed with me about my 'hemp protein powder' and searched diligently for a chocolate substitute that doesn't taste like spinach. (I'm a woman. I have chocolate needs.)

There have also been other types of people: people that feel it's necessary to talk me out of it because meat, dairy, eggs, and honey are clearly the way to live. To scoff at every new experience, and even some who find themselves legitimately concerned about my emotional health. Though these people have been real sources of 'Grace-growing' in my life, I will be honest and say there have been a few times where I've either been irritated enough to visualize shoving a vegan cupcake in their eye, or hurt enough to feel discouraged and maybe even embarrassed.

Hilariousness and sensitivity aside, being a vegan has turned out to be one of the best spontaneous and nonsensical ideas I've ever had. Through this process, I'm learning the art of being on a continual fast from the foods I crave, and in turn I learn to have multiple conversations with God throughout the day about how much I would really love a friggin piece of pizza. It is there I am actually ministered to. It is there I learn to lean on God for the little things I crave. My food deprivation makes me desire something beyond myself. It's a beautiful thing.

Socially, I learn to take everything with a grain of salt: I learn patience, I learn to laugh, I learn to cry, I learn to eat vegan cake and find beauty in the lack of eggs and butter. Trivial, and perhaps somewhat mad, but it's been an enormous struggle for me. I care deeply about people's opinion of me; I'll be honest... I would really love it if everything thought I was the most awesome thing since sushi. I'm being broken about this gradually. I don't want to desire the approval of men, I want to desire the approval of Jesus alone. I have a feeling He's the guy who's helping me find a chocolate alternative and laughing when I purchase hemp protein powder. He's the guy who's cheering me on, and telling me it's okay to cry over the lack of spilled milk.

I know I've said it before, but I'll reiterate it for the sake of clarity. Being a vegan was on my bucket list.... just because =). But it is so indicative of my God to take a 'Rachel just because' and turn it into a spiritual growing opportunity.
I love this journey. Who knows, maybe I'll even get a to-do list tattoo, but probably not; I've always really wanted a hummingbird.

Happy Endeavors, everyone. Try to make this, or something. (Beautiful.)


~Rachel~

Friday, January 14, 2011

Hold It.

I have to fight it. The urge to say the name, to utter what would undo me. I have to fight it. The want to let my muscles do their bidding without my mind's control; to let emotion fly free on a handle with that 20 letter phrase that beats in my pulse. So absolutely precious to me, hopefully without it's echoing eternity in the struggle against control. But I have to fight it. I want a day to come when my sword can elegantly lie at home, away from the battle of this daily grind. I thought I had made it to the end, but there is so much more left to say, or maybe words are not enough, as they never were, to cover the scope of something beyond comprehension.

Oh, I want to scream. I want to throw a punch, or run towards the boulder. I want to let the leech roam free, yet it is always stuck to the left side of my chest, holding on to it's life-source. I don't always notice the vermin, until I realize I am weak from loss of something precious. Oh, I want to fight, but I am so tired of the battle. I am far too out of shape.

I have to fight it.

A twenty letter phrase never left such an impact over 1,825 days.

This is still being fought. Hold it in.

~Rachel~